Today I started my first "real" shift at Peet's, starting at 6:30am. Which meant I woke up at 5am. The sun isn't even awake at that hour. Needless to say, I am a tad sleepy. Caffeine works only for so long, and then comes the inevitable crash. I'm crashing! Note to self: go to bed earlier. Today was a great day though. I really like the people I worked with, and I just love being a barista again!
I would take a nap right about now, but I have a Macroeconomics midterm at 6pm tonight, which I currently should be studying for. Somehow I feel like I'm not going to learn anything new in the next hour and a half that I didn't already know.
This weekend I'm going up to Redding to go to Bethel Church, which I'm looking forward to tremendously. I'm reading a book called The Ultimate Treasure Hunt by Kevin Dedmon, who is a member of the church there and a teacher at their school for supernatural ministry. Ever since my encounter with the Holy Spirit on Sunday, I've been hungry to learn more about the power of the Holy Spirit. This book talks about living a supernatural lifestyle; one where we can go out on a regular basis and use the power of the Holy Spirit to reach and heal people.
A part of the book that recently stood out to me was a chapter about hearing the Holy Spirit. I have had moments in my life where I have heard God speaking to me. Not audibly, but the words were spoken internally to my heart so strongly that I couldn't deny that they were from an outward source - God himself. They were messages given to me that gave me an impossible sense of peace. Peace that allowed me to know exactly what to do, just at the time when I needed direction. I knew it was God speaking to me.
I can understand how people would think that hearing messages from God is some sort of schizophrenic nuttiness. I agree, the idea sounds crazy if you haven't experienced it. But I have been given tastes of God speaking to me, and have no doubt that they were real. The Bible tells us that when we have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside us, our throughts are aligned with the thoughts of the spirit. So that would mean that if I am open to recieving the words of the Holy Spirit, that he will speak to me through my own thoughts! And those messages from God are meant to be shared. God can speak to people though me. What a concept!
So in Redding, it's not uncommon for groups of people to go out on a "Treasure Hunt" to find God's treasures - specific people who God has pointed out to reach out to. I would LOVE to go on one of these. I have heard and read many stories about how God can work through this kind of community outreach. It would be amazing to experience it first hand - let alone to think about the possibility of allowing the Holy Spirit to touch people through me. I have felt the physical effects of being touched by the Holy Spirit. Heck, it knocked me to the ground on Sunday! I want to be able to see that power in action first hand, in the form of healing and prophesy. That would be so cool.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
I Am What I Am
One more thought for today. As I was in Peet's earlier, reading, I came across this verse:
"By the Grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain." (1 Cor. 15:10)
Talk about relevant to what I heard last night, right?
"By the Grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain." (1 Cor. 15:10)
Talk about relevant to what I heard last night, right?
A Beautiful Sunday
Yesterday was a sweet, sweet day for me.
I decided to go to New Hope yesterday, my first Sunday there. I had gone on Wednesday night with Brian to the School of Supernatural Ministry, just to see what it was all about. Brian and I have been having some great conversations about the power of the Holy Spirit, and I had been opening up more and more welcoming the possibility of accepting that as a part of my spiritual life. I was curious to say the least.
I grew up in a conservative church. The idea of physical miracles, speaking in tongues, and the like were foreign to me. In fact, my dad's grandparents were "Holy Rollers" and the term had an almost negative connotation to it in my household. Like, those people were weird. But in the past few weeks I had been thinking about the supernatural realm. There are definitely physical manifestations of the supernatural world all around us. There are so many TV shows that explore haunted places, and there is a large interest in psychic power, witchcraft, ouiji boards, the list goes on. But we are told in the Bible that the Holy Spirit's power is MUCH greater than the powers of darkness. So where do we see it? My heart is wanting to see GOD's power on earth. To see the works of the Holy Spirit conquer the opposing forces in a physical, tangible way.
So my heart leads me to check out New Hope, a church I hear is a place where the Holy Spirit is working. Wednesday night I felt something stirring inside of me. During the simple songs of worship, I felt an energy there inside of me. I wanted more. Which brings me to Sunday, yesterday.
During worship, again, the same energy started stirring. Toward the end of the service, a couple shared a testimony about their son, who had drowned, and had come back to life despite impossible odds and against the life of every doctor, relative and church leader around them. They had faith that they would get their son back entirely. And that's exactly what happened. (Later that morning I got to see that little boy running around, just a normal, happy, healthy boy.) As I was hearing this story, my eyes started to water a little. This God I believe is a God of power. Little did I know how he was going to show me that power throughout the day. After the service they called forth people who needed prayer. I was just singing the praise song we were singing, and I began watch what was going on around me. People were falling to the floor. People were laughing, smiling, shaking, shouting praise. An old man, bent over, fully reliant on his walker, started to take a few steps on his own. I sat down in awe and the tears started flowing. Teju put her arm around me and started praying. And I just wept. THIS is my God. My God who heals. My God who overcomes. My God who gives life and is living here and now. My God who dwells in the hearts of the people around me, but more importantly inside ME. I was exhausted by his power. Sitting there, I had no idea what was going on. But I liked it. Incredible joy and relief and peace filled my body, a physical sensation of warmth flooded through me. I was weeping and laughing hard and it all just hit me hard.
Later that night Brian and I drove to San Francisco to check out a church called Promised Land Fellowship. During the worship at the beginning of the service we were singing and I just felt the Holy Spirit's presense there. It was THICK with his presence. I don't even remember what was going on, but at one point, I was kneeling on the ground, bowed down, singing and praying and started crying. Brian had his hand on my back and I felt limp and rested on his shoulder. A few minutes later this surge of energy just hit us and we both fell back into the front row of chairs. We were there on the floor, I was crying and laughing, and could hear Brian laughing as well. Talk about being drunk with joy.
After the message, we got up with everyone again to pray together. The pastor asked if anyone felt they were being called to be pillars. Brian turned to me and asked if I was being called. I smiled and said I didn't know, and he just took my arm and we went up together to be prayed for.
Let me add in here a little more - in the past several weeks I have been thinking a lot about what God is doing with my life. My experience of pain and healing are no doubt going to be used in some way by Him. I just don't know how. I know that I have a heart for women and for pain specifically associated with being a woman. I just don't know how that's going to be used specifically. But that desire to do something is there.
Anyway, as people started to pray, I had my eyes closed, and was praying myself. Someone (I think it was the pastor) laid their hand on my forehead and I went DOWN. I just lost all strength in my legs and I was on the floor. This rushing flood of warmth and energy, excitement, peace and joy filled me again and I started weeping. On the floor there, I had my eyes closed and I just kept seeing in my mind - wings in front of a sun. Fluttering higher and higher into the brightness, out of view. And I heard God saying to me "All of those tears you have cried in your life have not been in vain. It is time now to cry tears of joy." And that's exacly what I did. I let the tears just flow. And the tears turned into simultaneous laughter. (Note: I realize this sounds CRAZY. The truth is, it WAS crazy. It was crazy wonderful. Unexplainibly, utterly CRAZY.)
As I was lying there on the floor, reveling in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I felt a woman over me, she laid her hand on my forehead and began speaking to me, saying that I was God's beautiful daughter. That he is calling me higher, for great things. That I am SO loved. And then, after the woman left, as I was still there on the floor I also heard a woman in back of me crying in pain. And I just willed this presence that was on me, to fill her. I prayed for her there, eyes closed, just pleading so that she would feel the presence of God that I felt. And then I just started whispering praise. I don't remember what I was saying. I was praying and praising, just feeling God and thanking Him for being there with me, and then my praise turned into repeating "Elohim" which I later looked up and found that this name of God is one that is plural - a complete entity of the triune God. Which struck me because this is the first time I have really experienced the Holy Spirit. I knew my Father in heaven. I knew his Son who came to earth and died for me. But the Holy Spirit, which completes the trinity, came down on me that night. And after saying Elohim, my praise turned into words that weren't even english. I was just praising God, saying the thigns that came to my mind, in passionate love for God. Words I did not understand, but knew that God understood. Knowing that I was uttering exactly what my heart felt, which was outside the language that I knew. Yes. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit last night. WOW.
So needless to say, I'm just overwhealmed right now. Something amazing happened last night. And this is only the beginning. I opened my heart up to let the Holy Spirit in, and he CAME. Not only did he come to me, he knocked me down and invaded me. I was ROCKED.
I decided to go to New Hope yesterday, my first Sunday there. I had gone on Wednesday night with Brian to the School of Supernatural Ministry, just to see what it was all about. Brian and I have been having some great conversations about the power of the Holy Spirit, and I had been opening up more and more welcoming the possibility of accepting that as a part of my spiritual life. I was curious to say the least.
I grew up in a conservative church. The idea of physical miracles, speaking in tongues, and the like were foreign to me. In fact, my dad's grandparents were "Holy Rollers" and the term had an almost negative connotation to it in my household. Like, those people were weird. But in the past few weeks I had been thinking about the supernatural realm. There are definitely physical manifestations of the supernatural world all around us. There are so many TV shows that explore haunted places, and there is a large interest in psychic power, witchcraft, ouiji boards, the list goes on. But we are told in the Bible that the Holy Spirit's power is MUCH greater than the powers of darkness. So where do we see it? My heart is wanting to see GOD's power on earth. To see the works of the Holy Spirit conquer the opposing forces in a physical, tangible way.
So my heart leads me to check out New Hope, a church I hear is a place where the Holy Spirit is working. Wednesday night I felt something stirring inside of me. During the simple songs of worship, I felt an energy there inside of me. I wanted more. Which brings me to Sunday, yesterday.
During worship, again, the same energy started stirring. Toward the end of the service, a couple shared a testimony about their son, who had drowned, and had come back to life despite impossible odds and against the life of every doctor, relative and church leader around them. They had faith that they would get their son back entirely. And that's exactly what happened. (Later that morning I got to see that little boy running around, just a normal, happy, healthy boy.) As I was hearing this story, my eyes started to water a little. This God I believe is a God of power. Little did I know how he was going to show me that power throughout the day. After the service they called forth people who needed prayer. I was just singing the praise song we were singing, and I began watch what was going on around me. People were falling to the floor. People were laughing, smiling, shaking, shouting praise. An old man, bent over, fully reliant on his walker, started to take a few steps on his own. I sat down in awe and the tears started flowing. Teju put her arm around me and started praying. And I just wept. THIS is my God. My God who heals. My God who overcomes. My God who gives life and is living here and now. My God who dwells in the hearts of the people around me, but more importantly inside ME. I was exhausted by his power. Sitting there, I had no idea what was going on. But I liked it. Incredible joy and relief and peace filled my body, a physical sensation of warmth flooded through me. I was weeping and laughing hard and it all just hit me hard.
Later that night Brian and I drove to San Francisco to check out a church called Promised Land Fellowship. During the worship at the beginning of the service we were singing and I just felt the Holy Spirit's presense there. It was THICK with his presence. I don't even remember what was going on, but at one point, I was kneeling on the ground, bowed down, singing and praying and started crying. Brian had his hand on my back and I felt limp and rested on his shoulder. A few minutes later this surge of energy just hit us and we both fell back into the front row of chairs. We were there on the floor, I was crying and laughing, and could hear Brian laughing as well. Talk about being drunk with joy.
After the message, we got up with everyone again to pray together. The pastor asked if anyone felt they were being called to be pillars. Brian turned to me and asked if I was being called. I smiled and said I didn't know, and he just took my arm and we went up together to be prayed for.
Let me add in here a little more - in the past several weeks I have been thinking a lot about what God is doing with my life. My experience of pain and healing are no doubt going to be used in some way by Him. I just don't know how. I know that I have a heart for women and for pain specifically associated with being a woman. I just don't know how that's going to be used specifically. But that desire to do something is there.
Anyway, as people started to pray, I had my eyes closed, and was praying myself. Someone (I think it was the pastor) laid their hand on my forehead and I went DOWN. I just lost all strength in my legs and I was on the floor. This rushing flood of warmth and energy, excitement, peace and joy filled me again and I started weeping. On the floor there, I had my eyes closed and I just kept seeing in my mind - wings in front of a sun. Fluttering higher and higher into the brightness, out of view. And I heard God saying to me "All of those tears you have cried in your life have not been in vain. It is time now to cry tears of joy." And that's exacly what I did. I let the tears just flow. And the tears turned into simultaneous laughter. (Note: I realize this sounds CRAZY. The truth is, it WAS crazy. It was crazy wonderful. Unexplainibly, utterly CRAZY.)
As I was lying there on the floor, reveling in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I felt a woman over me, she laid her hand on my forehead and began speaking to me, saying that I was God's beautiful daughter. That he is calling me higher, for great things. That I am SO loved. And then, after the woman left, as I was still there on the floor I also heard a woman in back of me crying in pain. And I just willed this presence that was on me, to fill her. I prayed for her there, eyes closed, just pleading so that she would feel the presence of God that I felt. And then I just started whispering praise. I don't remember what I was saying. I was praying and praising, just feeling God and thanking Him for being there with me, and then my praise turned into repeating "Elohim" which I later looked up and found that this name of God is one that is plural - a complete entity of the triune God. Which struck me because this is the first time I have really experienced the Holy Spirit. I knew my Father in heaven. I knew his Son who came to earth and died for me. But the Holy Spirit, which completes the trinity, came down on me that night. And after saying Elohim, my praise turned into words that weren't even english. I was just praising God, saying the thigns that came to my mind, in passionate love for God. Words I did not understand, but knew that God understood. Knowing that I was uttering exactly what my heart felt, which was outside the language that I knew. Yes. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit last night. WOW.
So needless to say, I'm just overwhealmed right now. Something amazing happened last night. And this is only the beginning. I opened my heart up to let the Holy Spirit in, and he CAME. Not only did he come to me, he knocked me down and invaded me. I was ROCKED.
Sweet Encounter at Peet's
I was sitting at Peet's today, just reading a book I had picked up a while ago that picks out 100 great verses in the Bible and gives a little blurb about each one. I asked a woman if I could sit next to her since there weren't any other seats around, and she invited me to sit. As soon as I did, she asked me what I was reading. I began to explain to her what it was about, and she went on to ask me all kinds of questions about God. Things like "What makes those verses important?" "I have heard God is relational, how is that?" and "How do you define God?". She apologized for asking so many questions, but I really was challenged by our conversation and told her that I welcome any questions she has. It's good to have my thoughts challenged!
How do you even begin to describe God? I tried my best to describe different aspects of God, but after each attempted, she asked again, "so, how do you define God?" The best response I came up with (finally), is that the concept of God is just to big for us to try to define in human terms. Like there are many different names used in the Bible for God, we can only try to explain the different attributes of God. Collectively, they give us an idea of who He is, but there is no one, concise definition. It depends on how you're looking at God at that moment. Another way I used to explain it was if you tried to explain who a woman was. She is a daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister, a worker, a friend - it all depends on the context you are viewing her. The same goes for God.
It was just so cool for me to experience that. Having no intention of talking to this woman, she asked ME about God. It makes me wish that I had better words to describe what a relationship with God looks like. I guess that's up to the Holy Spirit though - to speak through me the words that she needed to hear. There was no saving prayer, but I definitely felt that I planted a good seed. And I believe that God uses those seeds planted by different people to build up a desire to know more - which will lead to saving grace. I'm just a part of his greater plan! It also makes me want to just dig into the Bible, in order to have those verses on the tip of my tongue to share with other people. I can only say so much to try to explain in my own words.
How do you even begin to describe God? I tried my best to describe different aspects of God, but after each attempted, she asked again, "so, how do you define God?" The best response I came up with (finally), is that the concept of God is just to big for us to try to define in human terms. Like there are many different names used in the Bible for God, we can only try to explain the different attributes of God. Collectively, they give us an idea of who He is, but there is no one, concise definition. It depends on how you're looking at God at that moment. Another way I used to explain it was if you tried to explain who a woman was. She is a daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister, a worker, a friend - it all depends on the context you are viewing her. The same goes for God.
It was just so cool for me to experience that. Having no intention of talking to this woman, she asked ME about God. It makes me wish that I had better words to describe what a relationship with God looks like. I guess that's up to the Holy Spirit though - to speak through me the words that she needed to hear. There was no saving prayer, but I definitely felt that I planted a good seed. And I believe that God uses those seeds planted by different people to build up a desire to know more - which will lead to saving grace. I'm just a part of his greater plan! It also makes me want to just dig into the Bible, in order to have those verses on the tip of my tongue to share with other people. I can only say so much to try to explain in my own words.
This is Only the Beginning
Wow. The past few week have been... wow. God has never been so real, so tangible, so giving of blessings. I am excited to see what God has in store for me! I figure that I love writing, so I'm going to start a blog. There really isn't a better time than now, because I feel like I have so much to say. But for now, I will start by saying this: last night was the beginning of something big. HUGE. I can't even imagine what God has planned for me. But if it's close to my experience of the Holy Spirit last night, then I better brace myself!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
