A Beautiful Sunday

Yesterday was a sweet, sweet day for me.

I decided to go to New Hope yesterday, my first Sunday there. I had gone on Wednesday night with Brian to the School of Supernatural Ministry, just to see what it was all about. Brian and I have been having some great conversations about the power of the Holy Spirit, and I had been opening up more and more welcoming the possibility of accepting that as a part of my spiritual life. I was curious to say the least.

I grew up in a conservative church. The idea of physical miracles, speaking in tongues, and the like were foreign to me. In fact, my dad's grandparents were "Holy Rollers" and the term had an almost negative connotation to it in my household. Like, those people were weird. But in the past few weeks I had been thinking about the supernatural realm. There are definitely physical manifestations of the supernatural world all around us. There are so many TV shows that explore haunted places, and there is a large interest in psychic power, witchcraft, ouiji boards, the list goes on. But we are told in the Bible that the Holy Spirit's power is MUCH greater than the powers of darkness. So where do we see it? My heart is wanting to see GOD's power on earth. To see the works of the Holy Spirit conquer the opposing forces in a physical, tangible way.

So my heart leads me to check out New Hope, a church I hear is a place where the Holy Spirit is working. Wednesday night I felt something stirring inside of me. During the simple songs of worship, I felt an energy there inside of me. I wanted more. Which brings me to Sunday, yesterday.

During worship, again, the same energy started stirring. Toward the end of the service, a couple shared a testimony about their son, who had drowned, and had come back to life despite impossible odds and against the life of every doctor, relative and church leader around them. They had faith that they would get their son back entirely. And that's exactly what happened. (Later that morning I got to see that little boy running around, just a normal, happy, healthy boy.) As I was hearing this story, my eyes started to water a little. This God I believe is a God of power. Little did I know how he was going to show me that power throughout the day. After the service they called forth people who needed prayer. I was just singing the praise song we were singing, and I began watch what was going on around me. People were falling to the floor. People were laughing, smiling, shaking, shouting praise. An old man, bent over, fully reliant on his walker, started to take a few steps on his own. I sat down in awe and the tears started flowing. Teju put her arm around me and started praying. And I just wept. THIS is my God. My God who heals. My God who overcomes. My God who gives life and is living here and now. My God who dwells in the hearts of the people around me, but more importantly inside ME. I was exhausted by his power. Sitting there, I had no idea what was going on. But I liked it. Incredible joy and relief and peace filled my body, a physical sensation of warmth flooded through me. I was weeping and laughing hard and it all just hit me hard.

Later that night Brian and I drove to San Francisco to check out a church called Promised Land Fellowship. During the worship at the beginning of the service we were singing and I just felt the Holy Spirit's presense there. It was THICK with his presence. I don't even remember what was going on, but at one point, I was kneeling on the ground, bowed down, singing and praying and started crying. Brian had his hand on my back and I felt limp and rested on his shoulder. A few minutes later this surge of energy just hit us and we both fell back into the front row of chairs. We were there on the floor, I was crying and laughing, and could hear Brian laughing as well. Talk about being drunk with joy.

After the message, we got up with everyone again to pray together. The pastor asked if anyone felt they were being called to be pillars. Brian turned to me and asked if I was being called. I smiled and said I didn't know, and he just took my arm and we went up together to be prayed for.

Let me add in here a little more - in the past several weeks I have been thinking a lot about what God is doing with my life. My experience of pain and healing are no doubt going to be used in some way by Him. I just don't know how. I know that I have a heart for women and for pain specifically associated with being a woman. I just don't know how that's going to be used specifically. But that desire to do something is there.

Anyway, as people started to pray, I had my eyes closed, and was praying myself. Someone (I think it was the pastor) laid their hand on my forehead and I went DOWN. I just lost all strength in my legs and I was on the floor. This rushing flood of warmth and energy, excitement, peace and joy filled me again and I started weeping. On the floor there, I had my eyes closed and I just kept seeing in my mind - wings in front of a sun. Fluttering higher and higher into the brightness, out of view. And I heard God saying to me "All of those tears you have cried in your life have not been in vain. It is time now to cry tears of joy." And that's exacly what I did. I let the tears just flow. And the tears turned into simultaneous laughter. (Note: I realize this sounds CRAZY. The truth is, it WAS crazy. It was crazy wonderful. Unexplainibly, utterly CRAZY.)

As I was lying there on the floor, reveling in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I felt a woman over me, she laid her hand on my forehead and began speaking to me, saying that I was God's beautiful daughter. That he is calling me higher, for great things. That I am SO loved. And then, after the woman left, as I was still there on the floor I also heard a woman in back of me crying in pain. And I just willed this presence that was on me, to fill her. I prayed for her there, eyes closed, just pleading so that she would feel the presence of God that I felt. And then I just started whispering praise. I don't remember what I was saying. I was praying and praising, just feeling God and thanking Him for being there with me, and then my praise turned into repeating "Elohim" which I later looked up and found that this name of God is one that is plural - a complete entity of the triune God. Which struck me because this is the first time I have really experienced the Holy Spirit. I knew my Father in heaven. I knew his Son who came to earth and died for me. But the Holy Spirit, which completes the trinity, came down on me that night. And after saying Elohim, my praise turned into words that weren't even english. I was just praising God, saying the thigns that came to my mind, in passionate love for God. Words I did not understand, but knew that God understood. Knowing that I was uttering exactly what my heart felt, which was outside the language that I knew. Yes. I was baptized in the Holy Spirit last night. WOW.

So needless to say, I'm just overwhealmed right now. Something amazing happened last night. And this is only the beginning. I opened my heart up to let the Holy Spirit in, and he CAME. Not only did he come to me, he knocked me down and invaded me. I was ROCKED.